What it means to apologize
Defensiveness is the archenemy of listening, and listening is key to the offering a heartfelt apology.I have worked with many people whose relationships are caught in a cycle of:You addressing them by name shows them you're considering how your actions affected them directly and personally.Your intuition will generally tell you if the apology is well intentioned..When you're hearing someone's apology, take note of the person's body language and tone of voice.
They are asking us to believe that they will not repeat this kind of behaviour.This leads to a misguided implication that it's better to ignore or deny offenses and hope that nobody will notice.This does not mean that you have to be a martyr.That means saying sorry and leaving the ifs and buts for later.There are plenty more informal and friendly alternatives that we would use.
The secret ingredient to sincerely offering or accepting an apology is intention.We listen for what we don't agree with.It follows that an apology is not a full and final payment of the moral debt that we are owed.Someone who offers an apology is making a kind of promise:To offer an apology or excuse for some fault, insult, failure, or injury:
Its modern usage has shifted to mean to acknowledge and express regret for a fault without defense. this modern definition captures the core elements of apology:Hurt each other, apologize, hurt each other.In fact, if you can't commit to changing the action or words you're apologizing for, don't apologize.It means having to face that we are human after.When we apologize to people from our heart — and mean it — we hope they'll decide with their mind to accept our mea culpa.